Pete Hegseth strutted the stage, saluting, Douglas MacArthur-style, in front of a wall-sized Old Glory, preaching the gospel of lethality to America’s low T military, demanding “no fatties, no trannies, no beardos, no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals.”

It’s a great clip for Fox, NewsMax and OAN.

His boss declared victory and an imminent end to the Iran war on March 1. And some 40 times since. That’s 40 victories! All in seven months. And the good news is, we’re still not tired of winning.

Cloaked in “the full armor of God,” Pistol Pete praised the war “that every red-blooded American is proud of.”

But with the Strait of Hormuz in a straitjacket and gasoline prices in the stratosphere, hemoglobin seems to be in as short supply among the public as testosterone is among our troops. Two-thirds of Americans oppose the war.

Obviously, they are being led astray by the treasonous, “anti-American losers in our media.”

But not to worry: The recent co-host of Fox & Friends Weekend has a plan: He’s creating a new “Autonomous Warfare Command” (AutoWarCom) so bots can do the targeting and kill without interference by wimpy humans.

At last, the age-old dream, warfare free of moral qualms. As an added bonus, robots don’t need testosterone boosters!

This exciting new age of Unilateral Assured Destruction, of course, demands sagacious guidance. So advising Project Meridian on the future of warfare are Newt Gingrich, on ice since the Clinton administration; Palmer Luckey, Matt Gaetz’s brother-in-law and a virtual reality and autonomous warfare mogul; and, of course, ketamine-powered Elon Musk, fresh from wiping out USAID. Musk believes humanity needs a Plan B—a colony on Mars—in case a world war or Grok devastates Earth. No doubt, the trillionaire will be among the handful of surviving colonists.

What could go wrong.

Donald Trump sets a dizzying pace of corruption and contempt for the rule of law. So perhaps it isn’t a shock that Trump directed that 20 million of our tax dollars be spent on national TV ads glorifying him. The president claimed these are public service advertisements but no one’s fooled: Even GOP Sen. John Kennedy, who votes with Trump nearly 100% of the time, called out the ads as self-promotional and “probably” illegal. Probably?

Trump finally got the message and announced that his Super PAC would foot the bill for the ads after all. Oh, but that’s illegal too: Officeholders are barred from controlling Super PACs or directing their spending. And Trump doesn’t plan to pay back the Treasury for what he’s already spent on the ads.

But who can blame Trump for feeling untouchable, given the Supreme Court’s decision granting him virtual carte blanche immunity.

Even that immunity has its limits. Chief Justice Roberts wrote: “The President enjoys no immunity for his unofficial acts, and not everything the President does is official.” And Roberts went on to observe that there are contexts in which the president “speaks in an unofficial capacity—perhaps as a candidate for office or party leader.” In those cases, the president’s claim to immunity depends on the “content, form, and context” of his speech.

The first ad features images of Trump, praises his policies and repeatedly declares, that “America will never be a communist country,” as if ominously gathering Antifa forces were about to plant a hammer and sickle on the White House lawn. The second spot features footage of Trump at Mount Rushmore proclaiming, “This is only the beginning of the golden age of America.” The third ad was, in fact, recycled from Trump’s 2024 presidential campaign. In it, he declares this to be “the final battle” to “demolish the deep state” and “rout the fake news media.” However, rather than saying “Paid for by Donald J. Trump for President,” the recycled version says it was “Paid for by the U.S. government.”

The three ads are full of Trump aggrandizement, innuendo, and hyper-partisan intimations, all dressed up in red, white and blue, and blasted out during the late stages of a sharply contested midterm election. They have nothing to do with the business of the executive branch.

According to the White House ethics advisor under George W. Bush, the ads constitute impeachable offenses. Federal appropriations law prohibits funds from being used on propaganda. And the Antideficiency Act bars the government from spending money that wasn’t appropriated by Congress; violations are punishable by fine and two years in prison. The statute of limitations won’t expire for offenses related to these ads until well after Trump leaves office in 2028.

As the chief justice wrote, “Like everyone else, the President is subject to prosecution in his unofficial capacity.”

Except Roberts left out one small detail: Trump wields the pardon power and does so with impunity. He won’t forget himself.

President Trump wants every adult American to get five thousand dollars. But that will only happen if the GOP sweeps the midterms. So let’s all do our part on November 3 to collect $5k!

Even Fox host Laura Ingraham sees through this scam: If Donald Trump were serious about giving each American adult five thousand dollars from the US Treasury, she asked, why not do it now, while you control all three branches of government?

Here is Trump’s verbatim response. I kid you not: “Democrats can’t do it. Because with them it’s negative growth.”

Huh?

With the election in less than two months, polls indicate the GOP is on track to lose the House and maybe the Senate.

So Trump is baiting his lure with a $5k per person gambit that voters will forget the pointless, unprovoked war in Iran or the unlawful, nonstrategic tariffs that are driving up the cost of food and fuel.

And lord knows he doesn’t want anyone thinking about his ole pal Jeffrey Epstein when they enter the voting booth (or cast a mail-in ballot!).

So Trump is heaving a Hail Mary. Were it to succeed and the GOP swept the mid-terms, the payout from the US Treasury would be a staggering $1.3 trillion.

It’s a transparent bait and switch, now standard fare from Trump. Recall his $5k “DOGE dividend,” the $2k tariff dividend, the $500 Obamacare “rebate” checks, etc. Check your bank account. Don’t see these? Me either.

This latest scam might not meet the legal test for a felony. But that’s a fault in the law. Common sense tells us it’s textbook bribery and fraud.

Aqua 1 Foundation invested $100 million in World Liberty Financial (WLF) last year, making it the biggest buyer of WLF governance tokens. WLF is the Trump family’s crypto venture.

But what is Aqua 1? It’s a UAE-registered investment firm run by Guren “Bobby” Zhou, who is under investigation in the UK for his alleged role in a major money laundering scheme. He’s also defaulted on $2.4 million in loans in China, where he is on a registry as a “dishonest judgment debtor.” His most recent business venture, as a hardwood flooring retailer, went belly up. So where did Zhou come upon $100 million to invest in WLF?

Good question.

The Bank Secrecy Act requires “financial institutions” to document the source of customer funds before accepting the money. Did WLF do so? An official at a Swiss firm noted that Zhou’s investment would ordinarily trigger the highest level of regulatory scrutiny because the Trumps are “politically exposed persons” with a heightened vulnerability to influence peddling.

Or perhaps it’s a heightened appreciation for influence peddling: Last year, Trump collected $1.4 billion from his crypto businesses, mostly from anonymous sources.

WTF.

In 2021, Capital One closed around 385 accounts belonging to the Trump Organization, due to suspicious transaction patterns and money laundering concerns. Similar flags were reportedly raised internally at Deutsche Bank in 2019, by all-cash property purchases across multiple Trump-branded developments and the high volume of anonymous shell companies involved in the transactions. Capital One's move to close the Trump accounts came shortly after the bank paid a $390 million penalty for Bank Secrecy Act violations, which likely prompted tighter compliance protocols and the removal of high-risk clients to avoid regulatory penalties. The Trump Organization sued claiming the closures were politically motivated retaliation following the January 6 riot. But that suit isn’t likely to go anywhere: Capital One's customer agreement allows account termination "at any time."